


Sleepwalker

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair's sleepwalking makes him a danger to himself and Jim wants to know the reason why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepwalker

## Sleepwalker

by Sarah Saint Ives

Archivist Note: At the time of this posting, Sarah Saint Ives is in a coma. Her brother found and passed this story along, and all feedback can go to his email address to be read to Sarah. cpnoreilly@yahoo.co.uk 

* * *

First and foremost, they were friends. It was the most important friendship of Blair Sandburgs life, and the only one that would hold his heart captive until the day he died. He loved and respected Jim Ellison more than anyone he had ever known. He felt compelled to him, felt greatly troubled when there were differences between them, felt a sense of serenity and awe when Jim touched him. He recognized it for what it was; love. He loved Jim, loved him as much more than a friend, but dared not speak his heart for fear that Jim would be pestered by his ponderings and the friendship would be compromised. 

Blair was troubled to the point of sleepwalking. Even though he was an anthropologist, not a psychologist, he knew somnambulism was a symptom of a distressed mind. He had awakened in the kitchen, in the bathroom, at the foot of the stairs that led to Jims bedroom, and even outside on the balcony. Each time, he crept back to bed feeling foolish and frightened. Each time, he kept it a secret. If he told Jim about the sleepwalking, he would be forced to explain the problem that had led to it, and since Jim had the enhanced senses to discern the quickened heartbeat and respiration of a liar, he would be obliged to tell him the truth. It was easier to keep the entire matter quiet. 

The day had been hectic. Blair with a badge was even more difficult to contain than Blair with an observers tag. Now that he was a full-fledged cop, his safety wasnt nearly so consequential to those in authority. The risk factor for his life was the same as for any other cops. Jim had trouble giving up his role as Blairs protector and oddly, Blair had no objections to his protective instincts. 

Now that Blair was a cop, the two spent even more time together. They worked as partners, always together, and that togetherness was addictive. They were both affected, and the results was a mutual possessiveness that some would have considered unhealthy. Not Blair, and not Jim. In their opinions, they were friends, and friends were supposed to be close. That was enough justification for them. For everyone else, they could go fuck themselves. Jim and Blair didnt care what the world thought.

Jim turned over in bed and yawned, listening to Blairs soft footsteps from his bedroom below to the balcony exit. The doors creaked open, the man stood for a time, as if gazing into the darkened skies. A flash of lightning in the distance and a gust of cool wind alerted Jim to the impending storm. He rolled out of bed and descended the stairs to see why Blair stood so silently in the French doors that led outside to the balcony. 

Blair was moving by the time he got there, steadily approached the balcony rail and, without even so much as a hastening of his heartbeat, swung a leg over the cold metal and dropped over the edge.

Jim made a desperate rush and grabbed him by the collar of his tee shirt, saved him from certain death. The violent halt of motion woke the younger man. 

Blairs heart hammered now. His eyes were frantic and his limbs thrashed. Jim! Jim, help me!

Jim leaned over to catch hold of his arm, felt the railing slightly give beneath the weight of two men. He grimaced at the effort as he tugged. Stop kicking, Sandburg, and grab hold of my arm!

Blair obeyed instantly. His cooperation made hauling him back over the rail much easier. He fell with a long whimper into his friends saving arms and tried uselessly to stifle mournful sobs. God, Jim, what happened? Did I jump?

Jim crushed him to his own hard, bare chest, nearly sick with the thought of what had almost happened. Yeah, Chief. You jumped. he answered, shivering in the weeping mans ear. What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you do that? The arms around him got tighter.

Im sorry. Blair cried, knowing nothing else to say. Im sorry. Im sorry.

Jim pulled him along as he stepped back from the rail. The wind chilled them and lightning, nearer now, lit up the city many feet below them; the many feet Blair would have fallen had Jim not been so swift. Jim swept him off his feet and carried him inside, closed the doors behind them.

What am I gonna do with you? he asked, very troubled. I cant ever leave you alone for fear youll kill yourself! I have to protect you even from yourself! Blair, tell me why!

I walk in my sleep! Blair answered, and it was a relief to tell him. I think its because I have this thing bothering me, and I cant resolve it. Because its about you. And Im afraid to say anything because Im afraid you wont love me the way I love you. And I want you to love me, Jim. Because I love you. I love you. And Im so scared right now, so scared, you couldnt possibly understand. Im sorry, Jim. Dont pay any attention to me. Im crazy. Just forget I said anything, all right? Just ignore me.

Jim placed him on the couch and sat beside him, wrapped both arms around him. Blair, I love you, too. he murmured. You should know that by now.

I know, but I love you more.

No, you dont. Jim argued.

Yes, I do.

No, Blair. You couldnt possibly.

But I do.

Do you want me to prove it?

Blair blue eyes searched lighter blue eyes. Yes. he answered, wiping away tears. Please.

His own blue eyes brimming, Jim leaned to touch his lips with his own. I love you. he whispered. I have always loved you. I always will.

Blair threw his arms around his neck and returned the kiss with passion. You _do_ love me. he groaned fervently into Jims mouth. Oh, god, Jim, I didnt know. I didnt know.

How could you not know? Jim kissed him again and again, his hands dipping beneath the hem of his tee shirt to settle on the waistband of his boxers. You had to know.

Blair scooted into his lap and buried his face in the crook of Jims neck. I knew I wanted you to. I guess I was so consumed by needing you and by being afraid that you would hate me that I couldnt see it.

Jim kissed his curly hair. Hate you? Thats the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard.

Blairs heart had not slowed its rhythm. His chest was beginning to ache from the constant hard, rapid thumping. I think Im having a coronary. he whispered.

Jim pushed him back across his lap, leaned over his face and softly spoke. Youre safe now. Do the mantra, Blair. Say the words. Calm down.

Im safe now. Blair said. Im safe now. Im safe now. The repetition of the three words over and over slowed his vitals and gave calm to his physical and emotional self. Finally, after many minutes of the practice, he smiled up at Jim and said, Im safe in the arms of the one I love.

Which is where youll be from now on. Jim said. 

Blair reached for a hug, and as his chin rested on Jims shoulder, his arms tightly around his neck, his eyes happened on the digital clock on the microwave. Its three oclock, Jim! he said. We have to go to work in the morning! We should get some sleep.

Jim yawned in agreement. Yeah. We should. He paused before rising, reluctant to let go. Youre coming upstairs with me, okay?

His breath caught in his throat. Okay. If you really want me there.

I do. Jim said, decidedly. Yes. I definitely want you there.

Blair smiled and kissed him again. Okay. he said.

* * *

Dawn exposed them in a tangle of arms and legs, their lips still kiss-swollen. The wet spot in the bed was on Blairs side, and was now dry. Blair, on Jims side of the bed, had wiped off the stickiness of their love-making from their weary bodies before they had finally fallen asleep.

The phone woke them with a start. Jim reached for it, hindered by his lovers weight. Understanding, Blair rolled with him, enabling him to answer the insistent ringing.

Ellison. Jim said drowsily into the receiver.

Good morning. came the familiar sarcastic voice.

Simon. Jim said, yawning. Whats up?

Whats up? Captain Simon Banks returned with a parody of patience. Underlying petulance was too clear. Well, let me see....I think the fact that its eight oclock and youre still snoozing it up is one thing thats up. You and Sandburg have a wild party last night? Whats going on, Ellison?

Jim sat up suddenly, taking Blair with him. Oh, shit! Eight oclock! Geez. Im sorry, Simon. Well be there as soon as we can.

Its eight? Blair asked, too close to the phone.

Simon had been about to hang up, but Jims partners voice stopped him. Jim?

Jim hesitated. Yeah, Simon?

Is Blair in bed with you?

Jim swallowed hard. Yeah, actually.....um.... Yeah. Well be there in a few minutes, Simon.

Jim!

Yes, sir? Jim winced, knowing his superiors suspicions would lead him into an undesirable line of questioning unless he supplied quick answers. The trouble was, his brain wasnt ready to work that fast.

Why is Blair sleeping with you?

Ill explain everything when we get there, sir.

No, explain it now, Jim. I know it may be none of my business, but explain anyway. I would like to know how long the two of you have had this arrangement.

About five hours, sir.

Five hours! Simons voice fairly boomed through the phone. Jim, you have the day off, do you hear me!

Jim was puzzled. Am I suspended for some reason, sir?

No. You have a holiday. Both of you. Spend it together. You called in sick, okay?

But, sir.....why?

Figure it out, you moron. You and Sandburg have been lovers for five hours! You need time together. Im your captain. I have spoken. Have a good day. Abruptly, he hung up.

Jim stared at the phone, clearing his throat. Carefully, he replaced it on the cradle. Simon says were to stay home today.

Simon says, huh? Blair laughed and pushed him flat onto his back, straddling him. He leaned to kiss him several times. I think we have to do it if Simon says it.

With a grin, Jim kissed him again, then again. Yeah. Anyway, we have to talk about this sleepwalking thing. Blair, you almost died. This cannot happen again.

I dont think itll happen again. I think what was causing it was my frustration. Because I loved you and I didnt know you felt the same way about me.

I never heard of anybody committing suicide in their sleep. Its too weird. I think you should have a talk to a psychologist.

Do you think itll help?

It cant hurt. Blair, I dont intend to let you out of my sight until I know youre not going to do that again. Do you realize how bad you scared me last night?

Blair looked down. Im sorry.

I dont want you to be sorry. I just dont want you to ever do that again. I want you to sleep right here in my arms for the rest of our lives.

I will. Blair played with the bigger mans short hair. I want to spend every minute sleeping and awake with you. Every minute.

Yeah, me, too.

Is this the way people are supposed to live, Jim? Is it acceptable?

I dont give a damn how people are _supposed_ to live or whats acceptable. We live the way we live! We are who we are! We do what makes us happy, and if anyone has a problem with it, its _their_ problem, not ours. I never want to let you go. The only one who can make me let you go is you, Blair. Youre the only one who matters.

Never let me go. Blair said softly. He lowered his lips for another kiss, the kiss that lasted an eternity, that ended far too soon. 

* * *

End Sleepwalker.

 


End file.
